THE LATEST APOLOGIES: WHO'S SORRY NOW?

Thursday, November 02, 2006

John Kerry

“As a combat veteran, I want to make it clear to anyone in uniform and to their loved ones: my poorly stated joke at a rally was not about, and never intended to refer to any troop.  I sincerely regret that my words were misinterpreted to wrongly imply anything negative about those in uniform, and I personally apologize to any service member, family member or American who was offended.  It is clear the Republican Party would rather talk about anything but their failed security policy.  I don't want my verbal slip to be a diversion from the real issues.  I will continue to fight for a change of course to provide real security for our country, and a winning strategy for our troops.”

Senator John Kerry issuing an official statement of apology.  November 1, 2006

John Kerry

“Of course I'm sorry about a botched joke.  You think I love botched jokes?  I mean, you know, it's pretty stupid. … I'm sorry that that's happened.  But I'm not going to stand back from the reality here, which is, they're trying to change the subject.  It's their campaign of smear and fear.”

Senator John Kerry (D-MA) on Imus in the Morning apologizing for screwing up a joke which was intended to target George W. Bush’s stupidity but instead wound up highlighting Kerry’s.  The line was supposed to be, “Do you know where you end up if you don't study, if you aren't smart, if you're intellectually lazy?  You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq.  Just ask President Bush,”  but Kerry, no stranger to the verbal gaffe, mangled it into “You know, education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well.  If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq,” thus allowing repugnant Republicans to claim that he was calling the troops stupid, which was followed by gutless Democrats distancing themselves from him instead of pointing out that Kerry’s flubbed word or two was insignificant compared to George W. Bush’s never-ending gusher of inelegant phrasings, not to mention his cavalierly lying and costing the lives of almost 3,000 Americans and tens if not hundreds of thousands of Iraqis.  November 1, 2006

Alex Bias

“There can be no excuse for such a remark, only an apology. …  Yvonne, you have my sincerest, heartfelt apology.”

Alex Bias, mayor of Desert Hot Springs, CA, apologizing to Councilwoman Yvonne Parks for telling her, in the heat of an argument, to “go play with yourself.”  October 31, 2006

Doug Belden

“I have realized that my consumption of alcohol affected my judgment when making decisions in my personal life that night.  I have resolved to correct this inappropriate behavior through professional assistance.”

Tampa, FL tax collector Doug Belden apologizing for reportedly approaching a woman in a bar, touching her breast, putting his head in her lap and kissing her on the cheek.  October 26, 2006

Taj Aldin Alhilali

“I unreservedly apologize to any woman who is offended by my comments.”

Australian Muslim Sheik Taj Aldin Alhilali apologizing for blaming provocatively dressed women for rapes.  Said Alhilali, “If you take out uncovered meat and place it outside on the street, or in the garden or in the park, or in the backyard without a cover, and the cats come and eat it ... whose fault is it, the cats or the uncovered meat?”  He then answered his own question: “The uncovered meat is the problem.”  October 26, 2006

Rush Limbaugh

“Now people are telling me they have seen Michael J. Fox in interviews and he does appear the same way in the interviews as he does in this commercial.  All right then, I stand corrected. … So I will bigly, hugely admit that I was wrong, and I will apologize to Michael J. Fox if I am wrong in characterizing his behavior on this commercial as an act.”

Pharmacological expert Rush Limbaugh barely apologizing for bigly and hugely exposing his shamelessness by accusing Michael J. Fox of faking his shaking in a pro-stem-cell-research political ad.  Limbaugh’s spastic mocking of Fox’s Parkinson’s disease symptoms – one of the ugliest displays of human depravity ever captured on camera – made all sentient viewers wish for God to smite him on the spot.   October 25, 2006

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Alan Hevesi

“It was belated and I am really sorry.”

New York Democratic State Comptroller Alan Hevesi apologizing for taking more than three years to reimburse the state for $83,000 worth of chauffering his wife around.  October 25, 2006

Isaiah Washington

“I sincerely regret my actions and the unfortunate use of words during the recent incident on [the] set.  Both are beneath my own personal standards. ... I have nothing but respect for my co-workers ... and have apologized personally to everyone involved.”

Grey’s Anatomy star Isaiah Washington apologizing for getting into a scuffle on the set with co-star Patrick Dempsey after calling another cast member, T.R. Knight, a “faggot.”  October 25, 2006

Ola Salo

“Sometimes when I'm onstage, it's my mouth moving and not connected to my brain.”

Ola Salo, lead singer of the Swedish band The Ark, apologizing for saying about planes flying over a party for the opening of the new Swedish embassy in Washington, “In this country, you don't know where those planes are headed.  I hope they fly into the White House rather than here.”  The comment elicited laughter and applause from the crowd.  October 24, 2006

Yutaka Nakagawa for Sony

“We would like to take this opportunity to apologize for the worries.”

Sony Executive Officer Yutaka Nakagawa apologizing for a global recall of laptop batteries because of the possibility that they might catch fire.  October 24, 2006

William McDonald Love

“I just want to apologize to the community of Groton and the submarine community there and tell them I never meant to demean them in any way.  I'm sorry that my message was done in a fashion that was misunderstood.”

New London, CT graffiti artist William McDonald Love apologizing for covering  a landmark submarine sign with yellow paint.  Explained Love, “I can’t discuss the facts.” October 24, 2006

Barbara Cubin

“It was person to person and it was not an attack on the disabled.  In retrospect, I was wrong in what I said and I apologize.”  

Representative Barbara Cubin (R-WY) apologizing for approaching Libertarian candidate and multiple sclerosis sufferer Thomas Rankin after a contentious debate and saying, “If you weren't sitting in that chair, I'd slap you across the face.”  October 24, 2006

Bobby McCray

“It's a big embarrassment.  It's time-consuming.  It's an embarrassment to the team and myself.  You just look at it and learn from it, and drive slow from here on out.”

Jacksonville Jaguars defensive end Bobby McCray apologizing after being arrested for reckless driving and possession of Vicodin, for which he said he had a prescription.  October 23, 2006

Steve Kagen

“I did not mean any harm by my words and I humbly apologize if I offended anyone.  That was not my intent.”

U.S. House candidate Steve Kagen (D-WI) apologizing for saying he was late for a meeting on an Indian reservation  because “we’re on Injun time.”  October 23, 2006

Alberto Fernandez

“Upon reading the transcript of my appearance on Al-Jazeera, I realized that I seriously misspoke by using the phrase ‘there has been arrogance and stupidity’ by [the United States] in Iraq.  This represents neither my views nor those of the State Department.  I apologize.”

U.S diplomat Alberto Fernandez apologizing for accidentally stating the truth.  October 22, 2006

Eric Musselman

“First let me say that I'm sorry.  I'm embarrassed and ashamed.  I'm well aware of the seriousness of the situation.  It's not representative of how I live my life and I will never take it lightly.  It was a huge mistake on my behalf.”

Sacramento Kings coach Eric Musselman apoloigizing for his arrest on a drunk driving charge.  October 22, 2006

Sam Harris

“I made a mistake.  I acknowledge and apologize for it, but the rest of this is just an attempt to destroy me personally.”

Great Falls, MT justice-of-the-peace Sam Harris apologzing for making inappropriate comments in an Internet chat room.  A previous Great Falls justice-of-the-peace, Mike Smartt, resigned and subsequently hung himself after he was turned in for having gay pornography on his office computer – by Harris.  October 20, 2006

The Archdiocese of Miami

“While it was long in coming, with God's merciful grace this painful revelation can be the beginning of reconciliation and an instrument of redemption and healing for Mr. Foley.”

The Archdiocese of Miami apologizing to former Florida congressman Mark Foley (R) for the sexual abuse he suffered as a 13-year-old altar boy at the hands of Reverend Anthony Mercieca.  October 20, 2006

Elizabeth Edwards

“Elizabeth Edwards called her and apologized.  They had a good conversation.  The senator thanked her for the call and wished her well on her book tour.”

Hillary Clinton’s adviser Howard Wolfson reporting on an apology by would-be Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards’s wife Elizabeth for saying, “[Hillary] and I are from the same generation.  We both went to law school and married other lawyers, but after that we made other choices.  I think my choices have made me happier.  I think I'm more joyful than she is.”  October 20, 2006

Joe Cisneros for Larry Mead

“He told the court that he never did anything to anyone but himself, but that he betrayed the trust of his family, his community and his students, and he apologized to everyone.  He apologized to his students for not being the role model they needed.”

Joe Cisneros, attorney for former Salinas, CA elementary school teacher Larry Mead, apologizing for his client’s possession and transmission of child pornography, some of which he downloaded onto his school computer.  October 19, 2006

Jo Ann Harper

“Coach [Buddy] Teevens, his staff and his players have acknowledged that the actions displayed Saturday were not in keeping with acceptable standards of behavior at Dartmouth, nor with the great traditions of Dartmouth football and Dartmouth athletics in general.  They join me in apologizing to the Dartmouth community, the Holy Cross community and the public.”

Dartmouth athletic director Jo Ann Harper apologizing for a fight that broke out when, after Holy Cross defeated Dartmouth in overtime, its players celebrated atop the Dartmouth “D” painted on the field.  October 19, 2006

Claire McCaskill

“I think it’s patriotic to fully fund verterans’ benefits, but I shouldn’t have questioned your patriotism.”

Missouri Democratic Senate candidate Claire McCaskill apologizing for calling incumbent Jim Talent a “false patriot” because of his 23 votes to cut veterans’ benefits.  October 18, 2006

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Steny Hoyer

“If Mr. Steele did in fact take offense, let me assure him that none was intended.  But Mr. Steele continuously tries to divert attention from the fact that he is an unwavering supporter of the Republican agenda and of President Bush and Vice President Cheney.”

House Democratic Whip Steny Hoyer apologizing for saying that Maryland Lieutenant Governor Michael Steele, a black man, supports Republican policies “slavishly.”  October 17, 2006

Tom Potter

“I personally feel the need to apologize.”

Portland, OR mayor Tom Potter apologizing for the death of a mentally ill man who died from injuries sustained while he struggled to avoid arrest.  October 17, 2006

Brandon Meriweather

“I was not part of the initial fight that broke out.  However, I did see that my teammates and, more specifically, the placeholder were being attacked by the FIU players.  At that point I went over the pile so that I could control my teammates and prevent the fight from becoming worse.  When I arrived at the pile, I did not use my better judgment.”

Brandon Meriweather, Miami Hurricanes defensive back, apologizing for stomping on opposing players during a brawl with the Florida International University Golden Panthers.  October 17, 2006

Anthony Reddick

“You'll never see that behavior out of me again.  My behavior was a disgrace to my school, my family and my friends, especially the young kids who look up to me as their role model.  I do understand that what I did was wrong.”

Anthony Reddick, strong safety for the University of Miami’s Hurricanes, apologizing for swinging his helmet and smashing it into an opposing player during the Hurricanes-Golden Panthers brawl.  October 17, 2006

Bonnie Garcia

“While I heard no complaints during my time in the classroom, if anyone was offended by the silly questions asked and the joking answers I gave, I sincerely apologize.  I'm sorry and wish this had not happened.  However, as a parent, I have to ask myself,  if something truly offensive occurred, why did the adults in the room not stop the discussion, approach me after the discussion, or contact my office in the days following my visit?  None of this happened.”

California Assemblywoman Bonnie Garcia (R-Cathedral City) grudgingly apologizing for saying of Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, during a speech to La Quinta High School students, “I wouldn’t kick him out of my bed.”  October 15, 2006

Perry Patterson

“I'd like to apologize to Syracuse University and fans and everybody who watched the game on Saturday.  I made an out-of-character gesture to the fans and I let them get to me.  It's not what represents Syracuse.  It's not what Coach is trying to build in this program.  It was completely out of character.  I was embarrassed.  I felt bad about it.  I immediately called [West Virginia] Coach [Rich] Rodriguez and apologized to him.  I'd like to apologize to all the fans out there and everybody who roots for the Syracuse program.”

Perry Patterson, quarterback for the Syracuse Orange, apologizing for giving fans of the West Virginia Mountaineers the finger.  October 15, 2006

Steve Lyons

“If I offended anybody, I'm truly sorry.” 

Fox sportscaster Steve Lyons apologizing after being fired for making fun of co-broadcaster Lou Piniella’s use of a few Spanish words  -- he said Piniella was “habla-ing some Espanol” – and joking about Piniella stealing his wallet.  (Lyons, who distinguished himself on the air just a week earlier by making fun of a nearly blind man, is perhaps best known for his never-apologized-for 2004 comment about Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Shawn Green’s decision to sit out a game on Yom Kippur: “He’s not a practicing Jew.  He didn’t marry a Jewish girl.  And from what I understand, he never had a bar mitzvah, which is unfortunate because he didn’t get the money.”)  October 13, 2006

George Parker

“I sincerely apologize.  I never want them to feel I am treating them differently than anyone else.”

Mason, OH municipal judge George Parker apologizing to law enforcement officials of the Ohio State Highway Patrol, the Mason police department and the Warren County Sheriff’s Office, all of whose officers had complained that he intimidated them and treated them with disrespect.  October 10, 2006

Evelyn C. Lynch

“I want to inform the Saint Joseph College community of an event that I deeply regret.  I sincerely regret the embarrassment that this incident brings to Saint Joseph College, and I want to apologize to the entire college community.  I recognize that I am responsible for my serious lapse in judgment, and I have taken immediate steps to address this situation.  I hold Saint Joseph College in very high regard and apologize for the difficulty this news presents to you as members of our outstanding community.”

Evelyn C. Lynch, president of West Hartford, CT’s St. Joseph College, apologizing in a letter for her DUI arrest.  October 10, 2006

Paul Gallagher

“My words were very poorly chosen, and I sincerely apologize for them.  It won't happen again.”

Alderman Paul Gallagher apologizing for defending budget cuts to the New Berlin, WI police department by saying, “Most person crimes and property crimes are committed by poor and minorities.  It's just a fact.  We don't have much of that here in New Berlin.  So, if we had no police department at all in New Berlin, we'd still have a low level of crime. There's just no question about that.”  October 10, 2006

Frank Tassone

“My actions are shameful, deplorable ... I am deeply sorry to the people of Roslyn, to the youngsters of Roslyn ... I hope that my days in prison are spent trying to do some good working in the ministry of teaching, so perhaps I can make up to society in that way.”

Former Roslyn, NY school superintendent Frank Tassone apologizing in court for embezzling over $2 million from his school district.  October 10, 2006

Russell Pearce

“My heart is really hurt to think something like that would go out under my name.  I was very embarrassed I didn't have better diligence and read the whole article.”

Arizona state representative Russell Pearce (R-Mesa) apologizing for bolstering his efforts to bring back “Operation Wetback,” a 1950s deportation program for illegal immigrants, by sending out an e-mail of an article called, “Who Rules America? The Alien Grip on Our News and Entertainment Media Must Be Broken.”  The article, which attacked the way “any racially conscious White person who looks askance at miscegenation or at the rapidly darkening racial situation in America” is portrayed  by the “media masters,” was written by the National Alliance, a West Virginia white separatist group that scoffs at “the Jewish ‘Holocaust’ tale.”  October 10, 2006

Raymond Brown

“I met with the governor this morning and took a picture with her and gave her a letter of apology.  I just explained to the governor that I was under a lot of pressure at that time.”

Louisiana reverend Raymond Brown apologizing to Governor Kathleen Blanco for referring to her as a “no-good bitch.”  October 9, 2006

Tom Reynolds

“At the time, I thought I had done the right thing.  I have since learned that newspapers in Florida and the FBI had copies of the emails for months and that Foley had been confronted by them and lied.  I trusted that others had investigated.  Looking back, more should have been done, and for that, I'm sorry.”

Representative Tom Reynolds (R-NY) apologizing in a political ad for failing to do more about the “odd but not explicit” emails sent by Mark Foley to congressional pages.  October 8, 2006

Thom Brennaman and Steve Lyons

“I am sincerely sorry for our comments if they offended.”

Fox sportscaster Thom Brennaman apologizing for himself and fellow commentator Steve Lyons for making fun of a magnifying device used by Mets fan Stephen Teitelbaum, unaware that the man is almost blind.  (Brennaman referred to the device as a “psycho-meter,” and Lyons observed, “He’s got a digital camera stuck to his face.”)  October 7, 2006

Friday, October 27, 2006

Francine Katz for Anheuser Busch

“We apologize for any misunderstanding about the World Cup Winner's Trophy visit to the United States.”

Anheuser-Busch spokeswoman Francine Katz apologizing for a deceptive news release giving the false impression that the trophy being represented to fans on a tour of U.S. cities as the “FIFA World Cup Winner’s Trophy” awarded to Italy in July was actually a mere replica.  October 6, 2006

Sienna Miller

“I want to apologize for my comments which seem to have been misconstrued and taken out of context.  I was referring to the fact that we are shooting almost all night shoots on this film and none of us have had an opportunity to fully explore the city.  What I have seen of it is beautiful.  I came once before to visit the Andy Warhol museum whilst researching a film and found both the city and it's inhabitants warm and gracious.  My father is from Meadville and is in town to show me round this weekend.  I sincerely apologize and hope people realize that conversations can be easily manipulated in print.”

Actress Sienna Miller apologizing for referring to Pittsburgh in a Rolling Stone interview as “Shitsburgh” and telling the reporter, “Can you believe this is my life? Will you pity me when you’re back in your funky New York apartment and I’m still in Pittsburgh? I need to get more glamorous films and stop with my indie year,” all of which was somehow “misconstrued” as negative.  October 6, 2006

James Ethridge

“I was trying to help Ms. Sweet.  I now know I did not do this the right way.”

North Carolina district court judge James Ethridge apologizing for “helping” Alzheimer’s victim Rosalind Williams Sweet, who had been declared incompetent, by putting her home in his name and her life savings into a checking account in his name.  October 6, 2006

Dennis Hastert

“I'm deeply sorry this has happened and the bottom line is we're taking responsibility.  The buck stops here.”

House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-IL) pretending to apologize for his failure to act on warnings about Mark Foley’s Internet come-ons to male congressional pages while suggesting that members of his staff were to blame, and that the whole kerfuffle had been orchestrated by a cabal consisting of ABC News, Democratic operatives, and liberal multi-billionaire George Soros, who observed, “By pointing fingers at everyone but himself, Speaker Hastert certainly has an interesting definition of the buck stops here.”  October 5, 2006

Jerry McKenna / DJ No Name

“[He was] less respectful of the event than he should have been.  We are dealing with it internally.”

Jerry McKenna, VP and market manager for Entercom Communications, reporting that KNDD-FM disc jockey DJ No Name had apologized for following news of the shooting at an Amish school by playing Weird Al Yankovic’s “Amish Paradise.”  October 5, 2006

Albert Haynesworth

“It was a blur.  It was a big, big mistake and something I wish I could do anything to take that back.”

Tennessee Titans defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth apologizing for scraping his cleat across the unhelmeted head of Dallas center Andre Gurode.  October 5, 2006

Terrence Kiel

“I feel in so many ways that I owe my teammates an apology for missing the game.  That's something I can't get back.”

San Diego Chargers strong safety Terrence Kiel apologizing after being arrested on suspicion of shipping codeine-based cough syrup to Texas.  October 4, 2006

Michael Rosin

“I'm terribly, terribly sorry.  I hope before they make a final decision about me they will be patient, they will be forgiving and they will not be overly strict or harsh as they form their opinion.”

Sarasota, FL dermatologist Michael Rosin apologizing before being sentenced to 22 years in prison for falsely diagnosing dozens of patients with cancer and performing unneeded surgeries, in some cases disfiguring his victims.  October 4, 2006

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Vandale Amos Willis

“I want to apologize for everything I did in court.  I’m sorry, your honor.”

Convicted cocaine dealer Vandale Amos Willis apologizing to a judge in  Duluth, MN for interrupting his trial by smearing his feces on the table he was sitting at, on his chair, and on the courtroom floor.  October 4, 2006

Don Sherwood

“While I'm truly sorry for disappointing you, I never wavered from my commitment to reduce taxes, create jobs and bring home our fair share.  Should you forgive me, you can count on me to keep on fighting hard for you and your family.”

Representative Don Sherwood (R-PA) apologizing in a TV spot for cheating on his wife while denying accusations by his mistress that he tried to choke her.  October 4, 2006

Bernard Schmitt

“I cannot explain how much I regret that my letter hurt and angered so many in our community.  I am deeply sorry, and I ask you for your forgiveness.”

Retired Roman Catholic bishop Bernard Schmitt apologizing for having urged a federal judge to go easy on a Wheeling, WV businessman who pleaded guilty in a child pornography case.  October 4, 2006

Steve Jobs

“I apologize to Apple's shareholders and employees for these problems, which happened on my watch.  We will now work to resolve the remaining issues as quickly as possible and to put the proper remedial measures in place to ensure that this never happens again.”

Apple Computer CEO Steve Jobs apologizing after an investigation raised “serious concerns” regarding the company’s stock-option practices.  October 4, 2006

Richard Polk

“I made a serious mistake that I deeply regret.  I embarrassed myself, my family, the council and the community.  As an elected official, I have a responsibility to act responsibly at all times.”

Boulder, CO city councilman Richard Polk apologizing for a DUI arrest during which marijuana, a pipe and rolling papers were found in his car.  October 3, 2006

Chuck Reed

“I should have held myself to a higher standard, and I am disappointed in myself, and I'm sorry that I did not.”

San Jose, CA councilman and mayoral candidate Chuck Reed apologizing for using public funds for personal expenses.  October 3, 2006

Joel Sawyer

“Anyone that doesn't have a political agenda who listened to or read the governor's comments knows the context and knows the meaning, which is that the state was dealing with a difficult-to-escape situation.  The governor was not aware that some people view the word as having another meaning, and if anyone was offended by his use of that word, he certainly apologizes.”

Joel Sawyer, press secretary for Governor Mark Sanford (R-SC), apologizing for his boss’s having used the phrase “dancing with a tar baby.”  October 2, 2006

Larry Shirley

“I apologize to those I upset, but I believe this crime has got to stop.  I know we can't really sterilize people, but I wanted to start the dialogue.”

Charleston, SC city councilman Larry Shirley apologizing for saying that parents who can’t prevent their children from committing crimes should be sterilized.  October 2, 2006

KDWB-FM

“KDWB does not condone making light of Islam and Muslims.  We regret that listeners found the ‘Muslim Jeopardy’ comedy skit of one of our on-air hosts to be insensitive.”

Minneapolis radio station KDWB-FM apologizing for broadcasting a bit which included the threat to behead a woman if she gave an incorrect answer.  October 2, 2006

Gerald Barbarito

“I’m truly, truly, truly sorry.  Priests are humans and they make mistakes.  Some make mistakes we can certainly understand.  Others, not so.  Sexual abuse, stealing money, we cannot understand this.  Prayer is our strongest resource.  The Lord is the only perfect one, and we rely on his strength.”

Gerald Barbarito, bishop of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Palm Beach (FL), apologizing to parishioners of a church from which two former pastors stole $8.6 million.  October 1, 2006

Jose Ernesto Beltran Quinonez

“I don't know why I did it.  I wouldn't want to do any harm to this country.”

Mexican citizen Jose Ernesto Beltran Quinonez apologizing for trying to get revenge on the human smugglers he used to work for by falsely telling authorities that they were bringing a nuclear bomb into the country through Mexicali.  September 29, 2006

Jim Hoeft

“I apologize to Mr. Kellam and his family for the headline.  I meant him no malice. It was my lack of knowledge on how to accurately interpret the document that led to my poor choice of words.”

Jim Hoeft, editor of the blog Bearing Drift, apologizing for stating in a headline that congressional candidate Phil Kellam had been convicted of assault, when in fact the charge was ultimately dismissed.  September 29, 2006

Phil Kellam

“I did not conduct myself as a gentleman, and I regret that.”

Congressional candidate Phil Kellam (D-VA) apologizing for a 28-year-old incident which resulted in his pleading guilty to assaulting a woman who cut him off in traffic, though he claims to have merely shouted at her and pounded her car.  September 29, 2006

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Mark Foley

“I am deeply sorry, and I apologize for letting down my family and the people of Florida I have had the privilege to represent.”

Disgraced Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL) – not (D-FL), Fox News!!! – apologizing after a series of Instant Messages in which he discussed penis size and masturbation with various male congressional pages became public, resulting in his instant resignation and subsequent checking into a rehab for an alcohol problem that no one who knew him thinks he has.  September 29, 2006

Avril Lavigne

“I’d like to sincerely apologize for my behavior with the paparazzi.  It’s trying at best dealing with their insistent intrusions.   I meant no offense to my fans, whose relationship I truly value.”

Singer Avril Lavigne apologizing after being caught on camera spitting in the faces of photographers from TMZ.com.  September 29, 2006

Jim Hibbard

“When I made this comment, I immediately realized it was not as funny as I thought and apologized.”

Adams County (CO) coroner Jim Hibbard apologizing for telling a staff member that the least expensive way to treat her husband’s colon cancer was with a bullet.  September 29, 2006

Alan Hevesi

“It was irresponsible for me, it's irresponsible for anybody, but for the comptroller of the State of New York, I think it was really inappropriate.  I apologize to the citizens, I apologize to you, I apologize to the taxpayers, I apologize to my family, and I particularly apologize to my staff, and the reason is, boy is this a distraction from us telling the story of what we've done in the comptroller's office.”

New York State Comptroller Alan Hevesi apologizing for not reimbursing the state for having a public employee chauffer his wife around for the past three years.  September 28, 2006 

Richard Eckstrom

“I would like to take this opportunity to make a humble apology to the people of South Carolina for an imprudent decision I made two years ago.  Although the law and historic practices provide constitutional officers a vehicle to use at their discretion, including individual use, appearances matter.  I realize how this appears to the public that I serve.  I deeply regret that I used this vehicle as I did.  I wish that I had not. ... I made a mistake in judgment.  I ask for your forgiveness.”

South Carolina Comptroller General Richard Eckstrom apologizing for using a state-owned mini-van for a 2004 vacation excursion to Minnesota and buying fuel with a state-issued gas card.  September 26, 2006

 

Keith Dennis

“The public reaction to this story has been significant.  A large number of people have contacted us.  Lots of them have seen the humor we were trying to convey, but far too many were clearly bothered by it.  This was simply an attempt at humor that fell short.  I wish to offer my sincere apology to anyone who was offended.  We do not wish to alienate anyone in our community – all of whom are potential customers.”

Keith Dennis, owner of the Columbus, OH ad agency Dennis Mitsubishi, apologizing for unaired “jihad-themed” radio spots for a car dealership that planned to have its sales reps in burqas handing out free swords to kids on “Fatwa Fridays.”  September 25, 2006

Mark V. Hurd

“On behalf of HP, I extend my sincere apologies to those journalists who were investigated and everyone who was impacted.”

Brand new Hewlett-Packard chief executive Mark V. Hurd apologizing for the same thing Patricia C. Dunn, who had just resigned, had apologized for ten days earlier.  September 22, 2006

Brandt C. Downey III

“I acknowledge that my actions were inappropriate.  I beg everyone's forgiveness.”

Brandt C. Downey III, Circuit Judge of Clearwater, FL, apologizing for frequently watching porn on the computer in his chambers.  September 22, 2006

Pope Benedict XVI

“This quote unfortunately lent itself to be misunderstood.  In no way did I wish to make my own the words of the medieval emperor.  I wished to explain that not religion and violence, but religion and reason go together.”

Pope Benedict XVI failing to explain why his reluctance to make the words of the ancient emperor his own didn’t prevent him from blithely quoting them.  September 20, 2006

Leroy Stambaugh

“I will stand accountable to my criminal charges and write this letter without knowing what the state's attorney or the judge will recommend for me.  I just want to do what is right. … Each time I gambled was another turn at sinking deeper into debt and, more unfortunately, deeper into becoming a person I never thought I'd be or ever wish upon anyone. … All I wish to end with is that I meant no harm and know that I have caused much.  Please accept my apology.”

Leroy Stambaugh, former mayor of Amboy, IL, apologizing for stealing less than $100 from a donation jar at the Amboy Depot Museum.  September 20, 2006

Bryan Bentley

“I apologize to my family, to my district, the administration, everyone in the district whom I've worked with.  It was a moment of weakness and stupidity that brought me to this point. I apologize for letting people down.”

Bryan Bentley apologizing for his arrest for possession of cocaine, for which he resigned from the Clarenceville, MI, school board.  September 19, 2006

Jamaal Lewis

“Those two weeks were the longest two weeks of my life.  I went through a lot of emotional states and basically soul searching.  I realize I made a mistake and it got out before I could have a chance to tell my side of the story.  I want to go on record and say sorry to the Sun Devil nation, all the boosters, all the people who support us.  My family and friends, I put them through a lot.  The coaching staff, all my teammates.  It's a team sport and it's rough making a mistake but my parents taught me you make mistakes in life, you take a lesson out of it and you move on. That's why I'm trying to do now.”

Arizona State wide receiver Jamaal Lewis apologizing for his arrest on a reckless driving charge, which resulted in a two-game suspension.  September 19, 2006

Joanne Wile

“I am extremely remorseful and regretful over my uncharacteristic lapse in behavior, for which I offer no excuse.  What I did was wrong and will not be repeated by me or anyone connected to my campaign.”

Albany (CA) City Council candidate Joanne Wile apologizing to her opponent, Francesco Papalia, for removing Papalia’s campaign material from voters’ doorsteps.  September 18, 2006

Pope Benedict XVI

“I am truly sorry for the reactions caused by a brief passage of my speech.  These were quotations from a medieval text that do not express, in any way, my personal opinion.”

Pope Benedict XVI apologizing for quoting that Byzantine Christian emperor, though why he was quoting words that “do not express, in any way,” his own opinion went unexplained.  September 17, 2006

Pete Rose

“I’m sorry I bet on baseball.”

A message in block letters on 30 baseballs signed by Pete Rose for friends that somehow found their way to a New Jersey auction house that announced they would be up for bid in April 2007.  “Pete made zero dollars for signing them,” said his business agent Warren Greene.  This obviously stuck in his client’s craw, because two days later, Rose’s own Web site began marketing identical balls for $299 each, plus $4.99 shipping and handling.  September 18, 2006

Tarcisio Bertone for Pope Benedict XVI

“[The Pope] sincerely regrets that certain passages of his address could have sounded offensive to the sensitivities of the Muslim faithful.”

Deputy Pope Cardinal Tarcisio Bertone explaining that the Pontiff’s quoting of a Byzantine Christian emperor who said, “Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached,” was not intended to portray Islam as violent.  September 16, 2006

John A. Lynch

I deeply regret it, not merely because it will irreparably stain my reputation but, more importantly, because it will further erode both the citizens' faith in their public officials and the country's perception of this great state.”

Former New Jersey Senate president John A. Lynch, who pleaded guilty in a Newark courtroom to charges of official misconduct and tax evasion, apologizing in a written statement distributed by his lawyer.  September 15, 2006

Robert Dunford

We had no idea of this.  If we had, we would have contacted the officer and said, ‘Listen, we're not able to do this.’ … Myself and the commissioner, we apologize for any unintended injury to this victim.”

Robert Dunford, superintendent of the Boston police department, whose policy is to provide uniformed escorts for the funeral processions of the immediate family members of current officers, apologizing for providing the courtesy for a cop’s brother who was a convicted child rapist.  September 13, 2006

Jim Webb

“I am completely comfortable with the roles of women in today's military.  To the extent that my writings subjected women at the Academy or the active armed forces to undue hardship, I remain profoundly sorry.”

Democratic Virginia Senate candidate and former Navy secretary Jim Webb apologizing for a 27-year-old article he wrote for The Washingtonian magazine called “Women Can’t Fight,” in which he made disparaging remarks about women attending the Naval Academy in Annapolis, MD, and referred to a dorm housing 4,000 men and 300 women as “a horny woman’s dream.”  September 13, 2006

Phil Mask

“I apologize this has happened, but I authorized the sale upon the advice of my experienced detective, whom I rely on to either follow proper and legal sale of these weapons or to dispose of them.”

Saline County sheriff Phil Mask apologizing for selling 108 confiscated weapons to gun dealer John Norrell of Little Rock, AR.  September 12, 2006

Marguerite Wageling

“I deeply apologize that my comments were or would have been misconstrued to represent another belief, particularly on such a solemn day.  Obviously, I'm human and people make mistakes every day.  I should have been more articulate in saying what I did.”

Attorney Marguerite Wageling of Hillsborough County, NH, apologizing for saying at a ceremony commemorating the people who died in the 9/11 attacks, “What happened to us, in my humble opinion, is the result of the intolerance we have for people who are different.”  September 12, 2006

George Allen

I've learned a valuable lesson about the power of words, about how words carelessly chosen, or in my case, even made up, can have a totally unintended meaning and impact for another person from another background or from a different cultural perspective. … The point is, symbols matter, they should matter, and this is something that I wish I learned a lot earlier.  Even if your heart is pure, the things you say and do and the symbols you use do matter because of the way others may take them. … What I appreciate, and wish I had sooner, is that that symbol, which for me was fit for simply rebelling against authority, and for others was fit for pride in heritage, was and is for black Americans an emblem of hate and terror, an emblem of intolerance and discrimination.”

Senator George Allen (R-VA) apologizing yet again, this time not just for calling someone a “macaca,” but also for his lifelong love affair with the Confederate flag.  September 12, 2006

Patricia C. Dunn

“Unfortunately, the investigation, which was conducted with third parties, included certain inappropriate techniques.  These went beyond what we understood them to be, and I apologize that they were employed.”

Hewlett-Packard chairwoman Patricia C. Dunn apologizing for a company inquiry into media leaks in which private investigators posed as board members and journalists to gain access to the phone records of suspected leakers.  September 12, 2006

Tom Noe

“I recruited others to make contributions to the campaign.  I knew it was wrong to do so.  I alone accept responsibility.”

Former Toledo, OH rare coin dealer Tom Noe apologizing as he was sentenced to more than two years in prison for violating the campaign finance reform law via a money-laundering scheme in which he gave friends money to donate to the 2004 Bush-Cheney election effort.  September 12, 2006

Dan Trerice

“The bottom line is that it was on the tape and it shouldn’t have been. … We were in the wrong.”

Dan Trerice, athletic director of Burke High School in Omaha, NE, apologizing for the warm-up music broadcast over the school’s public address system, which somehow included the voice of a hillbilly type who claimed to be from the Ku Klux Klan.  September 11, 2006

Harvey Kaye

“In my capacity as provost, I apologize on behalf of the university that this controversy has arisen, and trust that my letter will lay this matter to rest.”

Harvey Kaye, Provost and Chief Executive of Touro University in Vallejo, CA, apologizing for a statement by dean of students Nathan Church mistakenly claiming that because gay, lesbian and transgender lifestyles conflicted with the values of the Jewish school, a campus club dedicated to examining those issues had lost university funding.  September 11, 2006

John Johnson

“We apologize for the error.”

Farm Service Agency deputy administrator John Johnson apologizing to Kansas cattlemen for a miscalculation that, when corrected, resulted in a $3.8 million cut in the state’s drought aid.  September 11, 2006

Mark Zuckerberg

“We did a bad job of explaining what the new features were and an even worse job of giving you control of them.”

Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook.com, apologizing for adding new features to the social networking Web site that users felt threatened their privacy.  September 8, 2006

Richard Pattenaude

“We owe the state of Maine an apology for not doing our homework on the issue.”

Richard Pattenaude, president of the University of Southern Maine, apologizing for the school’s staging of an exhibit of the paintings of cop killer Thomas Manning, who was referred to in promotional materials as a “political prisoner.”  September 8, 2006

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Anyone out there that feels offended by these comments, I just want to say I'm sorry.  I apologize.  The fact is that if I would hear these kind of comments in my house, by my kids, I would be upset.  It's one thing when you say things, but it's another thing when you read it in the paper.  It made me cringe.  It made me feel uncomfortable.”

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (R-CA) apologizing after an audio recording was obtained by the Los Angeles Times in which he speculated thusly about the ethnic identity of Republican Assemblywoman Bonnie Garcia:  She maybe is Puerto Rican or the same thing as Cuban.  I mean, they are all very hot.  They have the, you know, part of the black blood in them and part of the Latino blood in them that together makes it.”  September 8, 2006

Brian Williams

“I want to apologize to the Weavers, coach Del Rio, my teammates, the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office and the Jacksonville community.”

Jacksonville Jaguars cornerback Brian Williams apologizing for his arrest on drunk driving charges and his subsequent behavior, which consisted of “cursing the entire time he was in the back seat of the police car,” according to arresting officer Ernest Bridges, and using “racial slurs continuously on the trip to the jail.”  September 8, 2006

Richard Armitage

“It was a terrible error on my part.  There wasn't a day when I didn't feel like I had let down the president, the secretary of state, my colleagues, my family and the Wilsons.  I value my ability to keep state secrets.  This was bad, and I really felt badly about this.”

Former Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage apologizing for blowing CIA agent Valerie Plame’s cover to journalist Bob Woodward and columnist Robert Novak.  September 7, 2006

Joe Cullen

“I would like to apologize to the Detroit Lions organization, our fans, my family and friends for any embarrassment these incidents have caused.  These incidents represent a mistake in judgment on my part.  I deeply regret them and have learned a valuable lesson.  It won't happen again.”

Defensive-line coach Joe Cullen apologizing for two alcohol-related arrests in the space of eight days, including one in which he was found driving nude.  September 6, 2006

Bert Blyleven

“I apologize to the viewers for my language. ... It makes me feel bad.  I'm sorry.”

Minnesota Twins commentator Bert Blyleven apologizing for uttering two profanities during a live pre-game telecast.  September 3, 2006